The Sheepish Consultant
An Australian farmer was herding a large mob of sheep along a back country road from one paddock to another when suddenly a brand new Range Rover advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a Hermes tie, leaned out of the window and spoke to the farmer: "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The farmer looked at the young man for a moment, then at his peacefully moving mob of sheep, and calmly answers: "Okay mate".
The yuppie parks his car, whips out a notebook computer, connects it to his mobile phone, logs into the internet and surfs to a NASA page. Here he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and some 30-odd Excel spreadsheets with complex formulae.
Finally he prints out a ten page report on his hi-tech miniaturised printer, turns to the farmer and announces: "You have exactly 1586 sheep here!"
"That's right. And, as agreed, you can take one of the sheep", says the farmer. He watches as the young man makes a selection and bundles it into his Range Rover.
Then he says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?"
Okay, why not?", says the young man.
"You are a consultant", says the farmer without hesitation.
"That's right", says the yuppie. "How did you guess?"
"Easy", answers the farmer. "You turn up, although nobody called you. You want to be paid for the answer to a question when I already knew the answer. And you don't know a thing about my business, that's obvious.
"Now give me back my dog!"